As the plates of the Earth shift, merge, crack, and move, the mountain is born. The peak of her majesty dipping into the clouds, appearing as if she is fading into the heavens. The impulse to bow to her is humbling. She whispers to my soul:
“I did not become la montaña because I crumbled in fear and pain. I became la montaña because I chose to rise.”
At the bottom of the mountain, deep in the valley, I stand at the gates of the unmarked path. I choose to be resilient. I offer my gratitude to the snake and her example of rebirth. I shed the old and grow into the new. My eyes grow cloudy and I feel like I could sink my fangs into anyone who dares to come near. At the same time, I feel my radiance rumbling. Beating like a drum… faster and faster as it prepares to burst through the layers of wounded skin.
I feel my inner knowing pushing my feet forward – reminding me that showing up is enough. Why am I saying yes to the unknown? Because I want to feel, and I want everyone around me to feel, deeply penetrated and enveloped by love in the face of pain, fear, grief, sadness, shame, unworthiness, and suffering. This is the path of remembrance that will gently remove egoic layers of limitation, one by one until I am la montaña.
Black Obsidian’s powerful introduction to my womb awakened dormant memories of rejection, judgement, and being replaced. My experiences as a late-blooming maiden. A young indigo, golden, starseed girl who unintentionally marched to the beat of her own drum, misunderstood by most of her peers. The more she longed to be loved and accepted, the more she found herself on the outside. Many years later, I’ve found comfort in my role as a lone wolf. I’ve transformed my perspective and know that my unique mind and soul are a blessing.
Black Obsidian showed me that there is still work that needs to be done here. That my inner little girl needs to be held a little closer. In the midst of a dreamy wave, rich with downloads, angel numbers, animal medicine, dreams, and visions, the shadow suddenly re-awakened and I knew I couldn’t carry this with me any longer. I started into my reflection as I cried. I acknowledged what was coming to the surface.
I am here now, two days later. I sit beside sister waterfall. She tells me that I am safe to heal the pain.
That my work with Black Obsidian has only begun.